1. Want to get our most recent announcements - and XP codes - in your email?

    Sign up for our mailing list!

A Fight In The Depths - Comment Section

Discussion in 'Roleplay' started by Aliciania, Oct 19, 2014.

A Fight In The Depths - Comment Section
  1. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp
    Welcome to the comment section for the story A Fight In The Depths, A story I had just started working on based on the When In Rogue game!

    Here you can pretty much tell me what you think of the story so far and maybe even help give some ideas! Who knows, your character might even end up in a small part of it! =o

    Rules:
    1. No Fighting
    2. No Bashing entirely (Meaning don't make your post just all about how horrid I am)
    3. Don't constantly pester for updates (I have a job and whatnot so things may get slow at times, please be patient)
    4. Have fun!

  2. Dodger546 Regular Member

    XP:
    12,656xp
    Yes! I almost whooped when I saw the quality of the prologue!

    The prologue was good. I've actually got an idea for what your story was about, as I have never played the When in Rogue game.

    If you want to have longer chapters, the one strategy I had for writing my stories was to have a minimum of five pages per chapter on a document. Now I used Google Docs so I could work on my story little by little (I actually made a chapter on my tablet, and it turned out pretty well).

    One final point. If you want more description, that minimum five pages suggestion can really help. It's a long process but the reward is fulfilling.

    See ya on the flip side.
  3. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp

    Eheh! Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I tried the best I could to give some insight of the game hidden within the story. E.g. The group of four and the village that you spawn in when playing.

    Not very difficult to do but it was a little challenging trying to blend it in well without making it choppy and whatnot.

    Ah yeah, At first I wasn't quite sure how long these posts could allow (As previous forums I had written/roleplayed at had a short limit and most of my posts couldn't fit in it. Really frustrating actually. So the Prologue was kinda a water tester too but thank you for the advice! I do enjoy writing long stories and brushing up on my writing skills so five or more pages should be pretty fun for me =p

    Thanks again!
  4. Dodger546 Regular Member

    XP:
    12,656xp
    The limit to each thread reply is about 60,000 characters. Though I feel like they have been boosted to more characters, thats still quite a bit of writing room. Five+ pages stays within that limit, especially if you follow steels guide at the top.

    Keep writing!
  5. InquisitorEslaf Regular Member

    XP:
    118,505xp
    I agree with Dodger, this story is excellent. The way the story begins is almost perfect; the prologue gives us a basic yet clear idea of what is going on. At this point, we do not know much about certain details, such as what kinds of creatures are threatening the land, but that just leaves room for us to imagine until the story gives us a more direct visual. Keep up the good work!

    One question though. In Chapter 1, why did Noire think that Viz was a mage? I understand how she would have preferred a mage, but what gave her the impression that Viz was a mage, especially considering the fact that the three of them joined up a while ago and must have gotten to know each other?
  6. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp

    Ah thank you! ;u; I was aiming for the prologue to make people think just what the corruption may have in its power, just to get their minds jump started a bit and I'm glad to hear people are enjoying it!

    Actually Viz, as you've noticed through the chapter, is a very silent type, doesn't enjoy speaking but for a good reason that will be explained a little later. Noire is kinda....assuming of people, jumps to conclusions easily and since most mages tend to wear cloaks, its like her mind is set as Cloak = Mage. Kinda narrow-minded. So with his silence, and her assumption of how mages dress, it kinda makes sense as to why she would believe he was a mage.

    Although, they may have been together for a while but even they keep a secret or two from each other.
  7. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp
    hhmmmmm, well I'm not entirely sure about this but I was a tad bored and decided to attempt at doing a drawing of Viz in his basic starting gear. I'm not the best with hooded figures and weapons but hey, I have it a shot. Its a bleh kinda rushed image since I was losing drawing ability fast but its not too bad really.

    [IMG]

    I had no idea where else to put it =p but its related to the story so I figured it would be alright here.
  8. InquisitorEslaf Regular Member

    XP:
    118,505xp
    Not at all a bad image, better than how I would have drawn it.
    And good second chapter two. You should announce on this thread whenever you release a new chapter.
  9. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp
    Thank you! =D

    I was actually thinking about doing that a little while ago but kinda feared about spamming this a little too much? Then again, I'm just updating once a day so I don't think it would be that bad lol I think too much. :lmao:
  10. Pyrosfyre Silver

    XP:
    39,804xp
    Dang if both dark and dodger like the story it must be awesome. I'm a read it now haha.
  11. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp
    Aha, go for it! Although updating had been put on hold for a little while due to some issues but I'm going to be updating it with a new chapter pretty soon! c=
  12. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp
    Chapter three is finally up! Its a bit shorter but its mostly due to the fact that it really would have been a hella loooong chapter if I had not cut it to a decent part.
  13. 621Shadows Regular Member

    XP:
    27,586xp
    An honest 5 stars here. The amount of thought, character development, and fine tuning that went into this is fantastic! I really was able to get immersed in the story. I was only able to find a few errors, and ones that are debatable at that, and really nice structuring and buildup. The story pacing us great as well, and I hope it stays at it's appropriate levels at varying times. I'm on the edge of my seat in anticipation.

    And now to the fanboying-
    Ahhhhhhhh I love the four characters that you put into this! They're all unique to themselves and are balanced, and as much as I hate Ali, I can't help but feel like it wouldn't be a story without her. I can't wait to see how each one fights on the battlefield.
    Well I hope to see this continued! Really loving it.
  14. Astral_Asylum Regular Member

    XP:
    26,705xp
    I friggin LOVE the story. I was browsing the forums and saw this post so I decided to give it a little look and boy was I glad I did because this stuff is pretty neat. I really like writing stories myself and have done so on a couple other forums for things like lore and such. Anyway if you're looking for co-writers I'd really enjoy helping :):wink:
  15. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp

    I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying it! There might be some errors in the story which I understand, no one is a master writer but if you do find grammatical or spelling errors feel free to beat me with a stick lol :lmao:

    Ah yes Ali will be one to dislike but she does have a reason to act the way she does =p I won't go into deep detail about it but lets just say the first meeting of a person doesn't always show who they are. I'm just as excited to reach the points of battle, fighting scenes are one of the most enjoyable things!

    The story had been paused but keep your seatbelt on because it will be continued with an update sometime around tomorrow! c=
  16. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp

    Definitely glad to hear you giving the story a look! Even more so that you like it! Though I usually write on my own but if I end up needing someone I'll give ya a poke! c=
    SheWantTheDeeman likes this.
  17. Dodger546 Regular Member

    XP:
    12,656xp
    Glad at least this story isn't dying off.

    The characters are very well developed here, and I'm definitely taking note :stuck_out_tongue:
  18. Aliciania Regular Member

    XP:
    18,670xp
    Nah :lmao: Its just easy for me to get distracted with life and family. Especially with the holidays being so close around this time and all that!

    Always a good idea to learn what you can from other's characters! =3 It never hurts anyone to get inspiration from others! I've been working on stories and backstories/personalities for characters for as long as I can remember. Last time I counted I had made around 200 characters (granted that was four years ago since I last counted so god knows how many I have now) Character design and development is absolutely ENDLESS and I LOVE IT! :heart:
    shadow621 likes this.

Share This Page